When your day job is not a place for creativity, you might be bursting at the seams like I am every evening. I have always liked the arts, but I never realized how important it is to have a regular creative outlet.
Tonight I came home, feeling the beginning of winter’s dull funk. It has been cold. It is Iowa, after all. I proceeded to ask Maestro Hubs to toss some holiday music on the turntable and spent three hours making granola bars, brownies with mint frosting and dark chocolate glaze, and chocolate chip cookies. Perhaps I went a bit overboard.
The point is, creating is something I just have to do or I get in a fairly low place. Even two years ago my office mate and best bud made a faux cardstock fireplace as a decoration that covered our binder shelf. Our office was exploded with Christmas decor including this door decoration. There just comes a point at which ideas must be let out!
Knitting, baking, writing, trying to learn that pick pattern on the six-string, putting a DVD together of the kids to send to their great grandmothers, sketching, anything that allows me to just be more of who I am. The things I WANT to do.
I have started to read Shop Class as Soulcraft but stopped because it was already speaking too directly to me and I do not know if I am brave enough to change my world the way the author did. I have to admit, though, I felt a weird motionless sensation when I first got a job in administration and information. I do not have a daily task list. I do not get the chance to turn and leave it all there.
The job is never done: The building is never built. The cake is never frosted. The fruit is never ripened. In my case, even the email is never totally read.
It is not tactile (if we used typewriters and snail mail with stamps it would be more fun and tangible and totally retro-chic). Everything is now demanding of instantaneous response, and instead of being more efficient, has propagated more busy work. It feels completely unnatural to be so tired and so busy and yet not even see a result.
I have negotiated this for well over a decade, sometimes successfully and sometimes not so much. But I know this is not news to many people. The creative outlet in my real life, my personal life, is what I live for.