A View of Prairie du Chien

Silver dollar bodies of geese

shimmy and shimmer in two

flocks flying

over the East Channel of

the Mississippi River.

Black wings laboring long and floppety carrying

each bird over

the blue metal bridge.

Cold metal bridge

into Wisconsin.

Horns and high-hats

softly blow and scratch

from the warm radio as the silver dollar

geese head into a clear sky.

-a.l.graysay

The Magic of Mama’s Purse

is when you are coughing

on spring pollen and

marooned at a late hour

in a hotel in Prairie du Chien

There’s a cough-drop in the inside

zipper pocket, wrapper fused to it,

coated in fine crumbs.

It’s when my nose is raw red

runny from sliding my

parka sleeve across, it

cradles a soft tissue for me on

the banks of iced-over Kent Lake

If I fidget in hunger

in the  vinyl diner booth

while Daddy looks serious,

Mama’s purse holds crayons

and almonds.

a.l.graysay

Decisions in the Shower: A Short Story

 

The hot water splatters on my scalp.  It hurts, but feels familiar.  I stand in the shower stall.  Tears burn my sick eyes.  I married him.

     When I was pregnant, I’d wake at 6:00 am, shower, and eat. I’d start the car in the driveway, then waddle back to pack my lunch.  I’d tiptoe across the floor and try not to wake him.

     Water isn’t hot enough.  All he has to do is call the plumber for a new hot water tank.

     I cried when we moved from Kentucky, for our life felt good.  I was sick when we abandoned Delaware, for it felt wrong.  I had handed him the job on a Wednesday evening, freshly printed and stapled together from the website.      “It’s practically Canada.  Looks cold.” I recycled the pages without any more discussion.  On Saturday he had fished out the papers, and placed them on the kitchen table where I was eating.  “You should apply.”

     In Delaware he said one kid was a lot.  In North Dakota, far from all support and family and friends, he said we ought to make another.

     I sat up in bed and took a deep breath through the extra 45 pounds. “My mother used to wake up every morning and get my Dad to work.”

     “Oh, yeah?” he said.

     “She’d make his breakfast and pack his lunch.  Every work day.”

     “Yeah, but you see how that turned out,” he snickered about their divorce. He covered himself up to his neck with the comforter and closed his eyes to return to sleep.

     I turn the shower to warmer again.  I love our kids.  They were all I wanted to do with my time. He took that from me. And at the same time was terribly mediocre at the job, adding salt to the wound. It was almost nine by the time they were in bed. The lack of schedule enforcement was wreaking havoc on my sleep and my sanity. I was nervous as he returned from putting them to bed.

     “So,” I had smiled. “I’m excited!  Penn State offered me a job,” I blurted.  He kept his gaze on the TV, and his elbow on the armrest.  He didn’t move or speak. I felt nauseous.

     Damn. Out of hot water.

     I jerk the knob clockwise.

     I have no way but the right way.  

     I wrap my towel around my head.  

     Failure is not an option.

     I slide my arms into my robe. I lean into the mirror, dry skin peeling off my nose.  Thirty-five and still blemished.  I put my glasses on, and turn sideways to view my profile.

     I cannot take that job with the tuition benefit, nor sell this house and end our debt.  No. He will stay home and I’ll continue the job 25 miles away from my kids.  I’ll lower expectations – then be happy.  

     I look at myself one last time as my image fogs over and I am barely discernible. I pivot away from myself and walk to the bathroom door. I place my hand on the metal door knob and turn.